2019

So this year felt more like 3 years… and somehow it still doesn’t feel like it ended ?
I don’t know what else to say to introduce this so I’m just gonna count us off here

5.. 6.. 7.. 8  2018 RECAP
In January I went back to school for the last time. I committed myself to taking more photos and pushing myself. I shot a series nudes (for my senior project) that helped me to process the end of my relationship, and I didn’t know that was why I shot them until I was finished. No one really understood the photos or what they meant to me, but they felt/feel a very certain, special way to me, and I am so thankful for a creative outlet that helps me to process my emotions whether I am aware of it or not.
In February Vada and I spontaneously decided we would take a trip to NYC together, and in March we did it. We explored the city and talked about when we would return together after graduation, but sadly, that’s not what played out (miss u V – @ san fran pls give her back). I treasure the day we spent walking around taking photos, eating food, and getting lost in all different neighborhoods of the city. She’s one my fav travel buddies and I’m so glad we got to fulfill our spring break dreams.
In April I began the onslaught of photoshoots, got hit by a car on my bike (again), took a spontaneous, final road trip to Charleston and after, found true closure (shocking myself).
In May I got a confession that was a long time coming, and eventually the denial I never prepared myself for. I shot even more photos, both collaborations and film (35mm and 120mm !!). I don’t remember much about classes, because everything else was such a whirlwind, and before I knew it graduation was here.
In June my whole family showed up in Savannah, and somehow managed to behave themselves. We sweated our way through two days of graduation (so glad to be done), and I spent my last days in Sav. I said goodbyes to my friends and tried not to think about how long it would be until I saw them again. I drove back to IL with my parents and I anxiously applied to every job I could find… until I finally got a call back.

At the end of June I flew to NYC for a couple of interviews, and despite the raging summer heat, I wandered the city for the first week in July, daydreaming of my life here and feeling subconsciously very good about things.  My Grandfather passed away and the whole family traveled back upstate to say our goodbyes. With loss came new beginnings, and I got a call offering me my first real “adult” job. A week later, I was packing up my suitcase at home, getting ready to move to NYC for real. 
Mid-July I found myself living and working in New York City and nothing felt real. I was sweating all the time, and eventually made the stupid decision to haul a window-unit air conditioner all the way uptown by myself. I got settled in my job and wondered how this all happened in less than a month.
August came and I started looking for a more permanent apartment. I traveled to Brooklyn after work, anxiously looking at less than fancy apartments wondering if I would have to suffer an hour and a half long commute to work at 7am every day. Finally, after two of the most exhausting weeks of apartment searching, I found the perfect fit, just 11 blocks north of my sublease, with two of the sweetest girls I’ve met in a while. Wrapped up the month with a trip to DC to see my favorite sister, her girlfriend Cassady, and my good pal Mike.
September first was moving day, and after packing, hauling, and unpacking all of my belongings for the third time in three months, I was finally starting to feel settled. I also got to see my gal Mandz for the first time in years when she came to visit her boyfriend, which was such a treat.
In October Megan came to visit and we went to our favorite breakfast place, and spontaneously decided to see Leon Bridges at Radio City. I was starting to get a bit lonely, so having her here, even for just two days, was so lovely. 
November rolled around faster than any other month, and I decided it was time I start training for a half marathon again (after deciding twice before, and failing). I ran 10 miles without stopping for the first time ever in my entire life and didn’t die. My parents came to visit and I dragged them all over the city to some of my favorite food spots. We went to the Notre Dame game at Yankee Stadium, and somehow ended up back in bed by 9:30, completely exhausted. The following weekend we all traveled to NC for Thanksgiving (except Jegs who was in London – I missed her v much).
Suddenly it was December… I anxiously awaited going home and taking a break from all the craziness. Especially when I got sick and was laid up in bed for three days straight. Took me almost three weeks to fully recover, and by the time I did, it was time for me to pack up my bags and fly back to IL.
I spent Christmas in Geneva with my family, bleached/dyed my hair for the first time ever, spent a lot of time sleeping, rewatched all of the harry potter movies, and cuddled with my dog :)
On New Year’s Eve morning I flew back to NYC, and rang in the new year with three bottles of champagne, chicken tenders, curly fries, Taylor Swift, and my absolutely lovely roommate, Brooke. It was by no means a fancy or elaborate New Years Eve, but I was so happy. I’m so glad/appreciative that Brooke was there with me to ring in the new year, because, to be honest, I was afraid I was going to be alone… and that’s just a little depressing, even for a loner like me…

And now here we are ! 

I’m slowly feeling more like time is a circle than a line, and I don’t feel the need to “start over” so the new year thing has kind of lost its charm (although I’m not sure it ever really had it?).

I guess that’s all I got for now … I don’t really have any exciting photos to share but I feel weird not posting any at all so here’s a photo of me with blonde hair !

cheers 2019 !